(no subject)

[chipotle]

So the experiment with WordPress went pretty well, getting that site up and running with… I was going to say a “minimum of fuss,” but that’s not entirely true. I ended up writing my own simple gallery plug-in because the simple gallery plug-ins that existed weren’t very good, and I’ve since found a bug in WP 1.5. (I’ve documented it on their support forums but so far I haven’t found a bug tracking system I can actually file a ticket in!)

Doing this, though, has led me to a bit of a re-assessment of what drives me. Simply put—and in retrospect, this should have been obvious to me, and it’s probably obvious to everyone around me—I’m more interested in building things than in running things.

I’m not a great programmer, but I genuinely enjoy programming (despite the bouts of screaming frustration). Similarly, the most enjoyable things about magazine work for me have to do with layout first, editing second and business a distant third. And Claw & Quill is unfortunately teaching me that I’m not much of an editor/publisher even on the web—building the site was a lot of fun, but my enthusiasm for the ongoing work has been limited, and I can’t completely write that off to my short attention span. (I can write off some of it to that, since when I get obssessed with a new project I tend to let old ones slide more than I should.)

I have to face reality: things are slow with it because I’m putting time and money into something I’m not particularly enjoying. As much as I think the fandom needs something like C&Q out there, it doesn’t necessarily follow that I’m the right person to do it, certainly on my own.

This doesn’t mean I’m giving up on C&Q, although it may mean I’m going to start looking for help with it. At this point I’m not sure how I’ll attempt to divide duties; having someone act as a front-line editor and someone else handle finding art would help. Really, having someone handle the business side and just leaving me as executive editor and webmaster would be ideal. However, I expect the funding will continue basically being me, so I’m probably stuck as the guy doing the contracts.

But this is a larger thing than just C&Q; it has some implications for what I should be doing with my life.

Okay, that’s a really broad statement, I understand. But I think everyone has things that they enjoy and things that they’re good at, which are generally non-identical but overlapping sets. It’s difficult to do something you’re good at but don’t enjoy unless you’re getting (sufficiently) paid for it. Conversely, something you enjoy but aren’t particularly good at is something you probably won’t get paid for—even though it may make a pleasant enough hobby.

The thing about the “sweet spot” where the two sets overlap is that it contains both the best hobbies and the best career paths. I’m not sure what direction this points me in for either one, but I’ll be thinking more on it. shaterri said yesterday that I’m a tinkerer, which is pretty accurate. What kind of hobbies and work does that lead to? I’ve established that my muse has NADD, but even after all this time, I’m not 100% sure what her strengths are. I’m still possessed by the desire—sometimes a need, no less—to create things. But that desire might be met by designing and rolling out a web site, or creating a new program. (No, I haven’t given up on the CMS idea, I’m afraid, but more about that later, perhaps.)

And, you know, I’m just a few years from forty, so it’d be good to get a headstart on my midlife crisis!

Comments

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

I'd be willing to edit submissions and handle site updates for you for free. (Honestly, I could use the work experience right now. At some point, I'll need to stop being a full-time mom and need to look for paid employment. :-) )

As I've told you before, I admire the magazine and would love to contribute toward its success.

Email me at purragrine@gmail.com if you're interested, and we can discuss things further. I realize that you don't know me very well, and thus wouldn't have much confidence in my skills (though tuftears and sythyry would vouch for me), but perhaps we can work something out on a trial basis if you're interested.

[lynn-onyx.livejournal.com]

I keep meaning to install WP myself, and maybe get back into blogging actively.

I know what you mean about "building" vs "running" things. I find it much more interesting to create something new, and once that's done, I have zero interest in the things necessary to maintain it. It's a solved problem; I'm on to something else.

If you're not enjoying something, you probably should move on and do something you do enjoy. This is hard for me to do, myself. I tend not to think about what I want to do, but rather what I should do. I don't think in terms of my desires and enjoyment, usually.

I'm late 30s [*] too, so I'll race you to that midlife crisis!

[*] The great thing about being a fictional panda girl is that I don't actually have to age. I've been 18 1/2 for the last 14 years, just because I can.

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

If I may, I'd be happy to help with C&Q.

[padfootsm.livejournal.com]

I wish to know more about Claw & Quill if I could. I'm a freelance writer for a local newspaper and school paper. Plus the fact that I really just love to read (emphasis on the reading portion...books and more books) and write. I think it might be fun to help you out if you need someone like me. Maybe you could email me or something about it? Anything is great, thanks. Hope it works out.

[dbcooper.livejournal.com]

Since several other offers have rolled in to help with editing, and since that's my main strength among those you discussed, I can offer moral support. :)

Creator

[samiamknot.livejournal.com]

You know you have always been the creative sort and not the one to manage or administer a thing for to long of a time. The getting paid for it part has always been a bonus for you. I'm kinda envious of that...