Low patience days

[chipotle]

Tuesday I decided I'd get the basics for a from-scratch macaroni and cheese variant. Given my work schedule--I didn't leave the office until 7:45--I didn't feel like cooking that evening, so I waited until yesterday evening, when I got out the office door precisely at 7:00, back to the grocery to pick up salad fixings and diced chile, and home.

While the pasta was boiling, I was rinsing out a big glass casserole dish. It slipped in the sink, broke, and sliced my hand in three places.

Bleeding profusely tends to throw off my cooking.

I did finish the recipe, sort of. I realized I had either too little cheese or too much pasta--and I forgot to add the chiles. It tasted good anyway.

While I'd use the fact that I have two bandaged fingertips as a worthy excuse for my being snappish online yesterday, the honest truth is I was snapping at people earlier, and feeling snappish a day or two before. Previously they were, I hope, relatively polite snaps--but the truth is that I'm out of patience with online roleplaying, both in the approaches some freeform roleplayers take and the insecurity that bubbles up with some players.

This isn't the first time. It goes in cycles with me; this is, I suppose you'd say, a down cycle. Low biorhythms, if you will. Some of it may have to do with "offline" stress; some of it may be due to bubbles of fandom politics. At the point when I want to start grabbing people and shaking them, it's time to step back.

I can't help but single out one rant. There's an online community I'm nominally part of, formed in part (although not officially) to be a counter to a similarly-themed site some people thought was too fannishly political. The catalyst for a current flap was a post by one of the older site's members, which responded to a mildly inflammatory whine about the older site with a ridiculously inflammatory and personal attack on the whiner. This led to lots of other inflammatory stuff from several quarters, but it would seem the only person who got "moderated" for it was the older site's member. Being a Big Name Guy, he's tried to rally other Big Name Guys to leave the newer site, with some success.

I'm not one of them; I'm not a "take my marbles and go home" kind of person, and while I disagree with the moderation, I think the first Big Name Guy is essentially throwing a temper tantrum I'm not interested in being a part of. The newer site made me feel mildly unwelcome some time ago, though, when a moderator moved one of my posts out of a relevant thread on a different section to the "whine" board and retitled it somewhat snidely; my activity there has been pretty limited since. (No doubt feeding the perception that I'm holding myself above that group.)

Last night I came across a thread on newer site about one more Big Name Guy leaving, saying that he thinks the site admins need to learn to allow disputes to go on without getting ants in their pants and coming down on participants (particularly, perhaps, in the discussion area set aside for disputes). I nearly responded to that, with a post about what makes cliques cliques--nothing personal, but a kind of gentle warning about the dangers of being an "anti-clique," since ultimately it's not only just as cliquish, it's promoting an "us versus them" mentality the original presumed clique very well might not have.

Fortunately, I didn't. That discussion thread on the newer site is now locked by a moderator (the one who moderated me, surprisingly enough), with the note that he'll be removing it completely in a day. Why? Because it's counterproductive to the site, which has "shown the world that there can be a flourishing and free community of ideas, art and discussion!"

I'm guessing he doesn't see the irony there. Of course, I'm guessing he figured publicly humiliating me would also encourage a friendly community site.

At any rate, if I'm a little scarce online to those of you who see me there, consider it a degrumbling period.

Comments

Mew!

[koogrr.livejournal.com]

Well, sorry for bitchin' at ya. I don't normally feel inclined to do so, but did the other day. A few weeks ago I commented to a few friends that the “Shitty Time of the Year” seemed to have come late. A thing I’ve often described in terms of Change bell, that starts ringing: it prompts companies to lay people off, and everyone to be idiots at each other. Somehow, a bunch of groups independently all decide it’s time to look alive and be bastards at the same time. Then one day, magically it stops. Usually, it starts just after New Year’s, when February is so short that it’s bills arrive in January before that month’s have had time to leave. Strangely, this year, it seemed to start in June.

[duncanroo.livejournal.com]

Just for the record, I left this particular site on my own accord a few months ago...not through any pressure from the other Big Name Guys. My reason is due to the same moderator you hinted about in your journal.

-- Duncan

[haikujaguar.livejournal.com]

I wonder if those cycles can align so that multiple people have them at the same time?

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Ouch! Sounds like a potentially nasty set of slices, hope you're recovering quickly and cleanly.

Online communities... Glad the only one I have to manage is a relatively small one, that being the Studio de l'Artiste. Though I'm sure there are people who complain about it too.

Seems to do wonders to have it go off the WhereAre list automatically once it has five or more people in it.

[xydexx.livejournal.com]

Of possible interest: A Group Is Its Own Worst Enemy (http://www.shirky.com/writings/group_enemy.html)

Get well soon!

[traveller-blues.livejournal.com]

Politics. No room to maneuver for folks who prefer to play fair - no quarter given for folks who don't sling mud and act like kids in circles.

Such is the allure of power, of ownership, and of being "popular."

I would sooner surround myself with real people and true thinkers.

Speaking of which, I'd like to friendslist you, old friend, if I may?

-Traveller.

[traveller-blues.livejournal.com]

Also: Hopefully your hand didn't require stitches. And my grandfather used to joke that if you bled in your food, you got part of yourself into your work.' He made it to make me take my mind off the pain because I'd slashed my finger pretty badly and had bled in some otherwise nice eggroll stuffing.

-Traveller.

[impytoes.livejournal.com]

I like my macaroni and cheese with white cheddar and garlic and eat it straight out of the pan, leaning over the sink.

Here's hoping your hand and temper heal quickly.

*gentle hug*

Devi Bloo

[pawslut.livejournal.com]

The Administration is showing a continued lack-of-maturity on the community you mentioned. There are a couple loud voices on there who honestly don't know the first thing about Administrating. I left because after hearing all the things they've been doing, including publicly trying to humiliate friends of mine and deleting posts at-will (and also 'suspending' the account of one person), I came to the conclusion that, although I rarely checked the board, _I_ wasn't safe from the potential of being the focus of a bitter, childish temper tantrum. I didn't feel it prudent to have my contact information as well as a stored password on a system guarded by a few infants who might decide one day, in a random act of retardedness, that they don't like me.

The people of that community need to focus on what good Administration skills are. Some of those -- not all -- who are making the decisions need to realize that neutrality, although a tough line to walk, is absolutely necessary. And the less 'action' they take, the better their moderating and administrative skills are. You can't be biased and also quick to hit 'invoke wrath of the Administrator' button if you're going to be successful. And making 'public examples' of people will just win you enemies. If they keep shooting themselves in the ass, there won't be many people around left to moderate.

[brahma-minotaur.livejournal.com]

I wonder when my degrumbling period is going to happen.

Come back to us safe in body and mind, Chipotle.

[chastmastr.livejournal.com]

OW!!! Hope you are better soon!

Sick all week with a cold or something, myself.

Hugs

David